How To Stay Close To Your Friends When You Have Kids But They Don’t

Post Pregnancy

Life changes when you become a mom. You may reassure your friends that “everything will be exactly the same” between you. However, things don’t always go according to plan. Soon, you find yourself dedicating almost 100% of your time to your little one — changing nappies, waking up for midnight feedings, and physically recovering from giving birth. As a result, your free time shrinks and you see less and less of those close friends and even family members you love so much. If they don’t have kids, they might feel that you are suddenly part of a world that is completely alien and distant. But this doesn’t have to be the case! True friendship always survives, even if you and your pals take different paths in life. It’s just a matter of doing small things to keep your friendship afloat. Here are some insights from our team of mommas!

1. Be empathetic

For centuries, having children has been the norm and the “natural” progression to adulthood for a woman. But it’s important to bear in mind the following two things. First, times are changing and the idea of “womanhood” is no longer exclusively linked to becoming a mother. While you or some of your friends have always dreamed about becoming moms, others don’t see it as a priority or have not considered it at all. In fact, according to CBS news, the birth rate in the US dropped to the lowest it’s been in three decades in 2020. It seems that more and more women are choosing not to have children.

Secondly, every single person is different. Not only are our minds unique, but our bodies too. So, some of your friends might struggle to become pregnant when they are planning to due to their health or other circumstances. In any case, it’s completely fine. Try to be understanding and empathetic about your pals’ personal journeys and, above all, show that you are there for them.

2. Celebrate achievements together

Welcoming a baby into the world is a beautiful experience. You’ll have many friends and loved ones congratulating you on this milestone, especially if you’ve been planning it for a while. Of course, you would like to share this magical moment with the whole world — posting on social media, throwing a baby shower, and sending postcards to everyone in your social circle. Your friends who don’t have kids also have their goals and milestones that ought to be celebrated. Usually, people with children tend to minimize these achievements, but this shouldn’t be you. If a friend gets a job promotion, an award, or relocates to a new country, celebrate it properly and shower them with lots of love. A great way to do this is by getting them a present, throwing a party, or making some noise on your Instagram or Facebook wall.

3. Avoid off-hand comments

Nowadays, many people talk about an “oversensitive” generation. Perhaps, this is you. In any case, it’s a fact that human beings are sensitive by nature. Words harm us, even when they are not intended to be malicious. For instance, as a new parent, you may feel uncomfortable when a well-meaning person says, “you look SO tired!”, “it only gets worse from now on”, “your kid is not talking yet, why?” or “in my days we did X differently”. Now, put yourself in the shoes of your friends who aren’t parents.

Comments such as “when are you settling down/making a family?” or “I always wanted to make a family, why don’t you?” imply that families are only valid once there are babies involved. This is not the case at all as many people consider their partners or friends their family and should not be invalidated for that. It’s also common to make off-hand jokes such as “you are so lucky to be able to sleep, travel, or dine out”. But many people feel called out — as if they are too lazy to become parents.

Another usual thing to say is “this is birth control for you” whenever your kid is throwing a tantrum or the house is too messy for visitors. But relax! There’s no need to be self-deprecating as any good friend will understand that parenthood is by no means easy.

4. Keep in touch

This is one of the trickiest points. When you become a mom, your free time is cut in half, or even less. You want to keep in touch with your friends, but sometimes it isn’t possible. If you find yourself with your hands full and are unable to meet up for a coffee, try to get in touch via text or video call. Write a message once in a while just to remind your friends that you care and you miss them. Whenever possible, spare at least one hour to meet up in person.

5. But don’t always bring the kids with you!

“Can I bring my child?” some of us ask when invited to a social gathering. You may not feel comfortable leaving your kids or paying for a babysitter while you are socializing. And that’s totally OK. However, spending time in the company of your friends is vital as it strengthens your bond and also helps you decompress when parenting becomes too overwhelming (which totally happens!). If possible, ask your parents, partner, or any other relative to take care of your child for one or two hours so you can have an exclusive time in the company of your friends.

6. Expand your conversations

Your life has been taken over by baby food, toys, picture books, and parenting lessons. You now speak “mommy” language, which may be unintelligible to your friends. This doesn’t mean that you should censor yourself. If you would like to talk about your little one’s first word, a funny anecdote about making baby food, or an interesting blog about parenting, do so. But leave room for other topics unrelated to motherhood. Talk about the things you and your friends have in common, and ask about their experiences — how their job is going, their relationships, etc.

7. Invite them over for special occasions

Part of being a mom is planning baby showers, birthday parties, baptisms, and other important celebrations. The first instinct is to invite friends with kids, but you should include your friends without children too. Some of them will be truly glad to be included in your plans. Others may find these gatherings boring or may not like kids in general. In any case, inviting them will make them feel included. Let them know that they are not obliged to attend if they feel uncomfortable, but that you’d love to see them for a couple of minutes.

Beginning.com supports you at every stage of your life journey! Discover our immersive sound journeys and masterclasses to take proper care of your health and wellness during parenthood.

Sources

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/us-births-fall-record-35-year-low/

How To Stay Close To Your Friends When You Have Kids But They Don’t

Relationships

Life changes when you become a mom. You may reassure your friends that “everything will be exactly the same” between you. However, things don’t always go according to plan. Soon, you find yourself dedicating almost 100% of your time to your little one — changing nappies, waking up for midnight feedings, and physically recovering from giving birth. As a result, your free time shrinks and you see less and less of those close friends and even family members you love so much. If they don’t have kids, they might feel that you are suddenly part of a world that is completely alien and distant. But this doesn’t have to be the case! True friendship always survives, even if you and your pals take different paths in life. It’s just a matter of doing small things to keep your friendship afloat. Here are some insights from our team of mommas!

1. Be empathetic

For centuries, having children has been the norm and the “natural” progression to adulthood for a woman. But it’s important to bear in mind the following two things. First, times are changing and the idea of “womanhood” is no longer exclusively linked to becoming a mother. While you or some of your friends have always dreamed about becoming moms, others don’t see it as a priority or have not considered it at all. In fact, according to CBS news, the birth rate in the US dropped to the lowest it’s been in three decades in 2020. It seems that more and more women are choosing not to have children.

Secondly, every single person is different. Not only are our minds unique, but our bodies too. So, some of your friends might struggle to become pregnant when they are planning to due to their health or other circumstances. In any case, it’s completely fine. Try to be understanding and empathetic about your pals’ personal journeys and, above all, show that you are there for them.

2. Celebrate achievements together

Welcoming a baby into the world is a beautiful experience. You’ll have many friends and loved ones congratulating you on this milestone, especially if you’ve been planning it for a while. Of course, you would like to share this magical moment with the whole world — posting on social media, throwing a baby shower, and sending postcards to everyone in your social circle. Your friends who don’t have kids also have their goals and milestones that ought to be celebrated. Usually, people with children tend to minimize these achievements, but this shouldn’t be you. If a friend gets a job promotion, an award, or relocates to a new country, celebrate it properly and shower them with lots of love. A great way to do this is by getting them a present, throwing a party, or making some noise on your Instagram or Facebook wall.

3. Avoid off-hand comments

Nowadays, many people talk about an “oversensitive” generation. Perhaps, this is you. In any case, it’s a fact that human beings are sensitive by nature. Words harm us, even when they are not intended to be malicious. For instance, as a new parent, you may feel uncomfortable when a well-meaning person says, “you look SO tired!”, “it only gets worse from now on”, “your kid is not talking yet, why?” or “in my days we did X differently”. Now, put yourself in the shoes of your friends who aren’t parents.

Comments such as “when are you settling down/making a family?” or “I always wanted to make a family, why don’t you?” imply that families are only valid once there are babies involved. This is not the case at all as many people consider their partners or friends their family and should not be invalidated for that. It’s also common to make off-hand jokes such as “you are so lucky to be able to sleep, travel, or dine out”. But many people feel called out — as if they are too lazy to become parents.

Another usual thing to say is “this is birth control for you” whenever your kid is throwing a tantrum or the house is too messy for visitors. But relax! There’s no need to be self-deprecating as any good friend will understand that parenthood is by no means easy.

4. Keep in touch

This is one of the trickiest points. When you become a mom, your free time is cut in half, or even less. You want to keep in touch with your friends, but sometimes it isn’t possible. If you find yourself with your hands full and are unable to meet up for a coffee, try to get in touch via text or video call. Write a message once in a while just to remind your friends that you care and you miss them. Whenever possible, spare at least one hour to meet up in person.

5. But don’t always bring the kids with you!

“Can I bring my child?” some of us ask when invited to a social gathering. You may not feel comfortable leaving your kids or paying for a babysitter while you are socializing. And that’s totally OK. However, spending time in the company of your friends is vital as it strengthens your bond and also helps you decompress when parenting becomes too overwhelming (which totally happens!). If possible, ask your parents, partner, or any other relative to take care of your child for one or two hours so you can have an exclusive time in the company of your friends.

6. Expand your conversations

Your life has been taken over by baby food, toys, picture books, and parenting lessons. You now speak “mommy” language, which may be unintelligible to your friends. This doesn’t mean that you should censor yourself. If you would like to talk about your little one’s first word, a funny anecdote about making baby food, or an interesting blog about parenting, do so. But leave room for other topics unrelated to motherhood. Talk about the things you and your friends have in common, and ask about their experiences — how their job is going, their relationships, etc.

7. Invite them over for special occasions

Part of being a mom is planning baby showers, birthday parties, baptisms, and other important celebrations. The first instinct is to invite friends with kids, but you should include your friends without children too. Some of them will be truly glad to be included in your plans. Others may find these gatherings boring or may not like kids in general. In any case, inviting them will make them feel included. Let them know that they are not obliged to attend if they feel uncomfortable, but that you’d love to see them for a couple of minutes.

Beginning.com supports you at every stage of your life journey! Discover our immersive sound journeys and masterclasses to take proper care of your health and wellness during parenthood.

Sources

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/us-births-fall-record-35-year-low/

How To Stay Close To Your Friends When You Have Kids But They Don’t

Parenthood

Life changes when you become a mom. You may reassure your friends that “everything will be exactly the same” between you. However, things don’t always go according to plan. Soon, you find yourself dedicating almost 100% of your time to your little one — changing nappies, waking up for midnight feedings, and physically recovering from giving birth. As a result, your free time shrinks and you see less and less of those close friends and even family members you love so much. If they don’t have kids, they might feel that you are suddenly part of a world that is completely alien and distant. But this doesn’t have to be the case! True friendship always survives, even if you and your pals take different paths in life. It’s just a matter of doing small things to keep your friendship afloat. Here are some insights from our team of mommas!

1. Be empathetic

For centuries, having children has been the norm and the “natural” progression to adulthood for a woman. But it’s important to bear in mind the following two things. First, times are changing and the idea of “womanhood” is no longer exclusively linked to becoming a mother. While you or some of your friends have always dreamed about becoming moms, others don’t see it as a priority or have not considered it at all. In fact, according to CBS news, the birth rate in the US dropped to the lowest it’s been in three decades in 2020. It seems that more and more women are choosing not to have children.

Secondly, every single person is different. Not only are our minds unique, but our bodies too. So, some of your friends might struggle to become pregnant when they are planning to due to their health or other circumstances. In any case, it’s completely fine. Try to be understanding and empathetic about your pals’ personal journeys and, above all, show that you are there for them.

2. Celebrate achievements together

Welcoming a baby into the world is a beautiful experience. You’ll have many friends and loved ones congratulating you on this milestone, especially if you’ve been planning it for a while. Of course, you would like to share this magical moment with the whole world — posting on social media, throwing a baby shower, and sending postcards to everyone in your social circle. Your friends who don’t have kids also have their goals and milestones that ought to be celebrated. Usually, people with children tend to minimize these achievements, but this shouldn’t be you. If a friend gets a job promotion, an award, or relocates to a new country, celebrate it properly and shower them with lots of love. A great way to do this is by getting them a present, throwing a party, or making some noise on your Instagram or Facebook wall.

3. Avoid off-hand comments

Nowadays, many people talk about an “oversensitive” generation. Perhaps, this is you. In any case, it’s a fact that human beings are sensitive by nature. Words harm us, even when they are not intended to be malicious. For instance, as a new parent, you may feel uncomfortable when a well-meaning person says, “you look SO tired!”, “it only gets worse from now on”, “your kid is not talking yet, why?” or “in my days we did X differently”. Now, put yourself in the shoes of your friends who aren’t parents.

Comments such as “when are you settling down/making a family?” or “I always wanted to make a family, why don’t you?” imply that families are only valid once there are babies involved. This is not the case at all as many people consider their partners or friends their family and should not be invalidated for that. It’s also common to make off-hand jokes such as “you are so lucky to be able to sleep, travel, or dine out”. But many people feel called out — as if they are too lazy to become parents.

Another usual thing to say is “this is birth control for you” whenever your kid is throwing a tantrum or the house is too messy for visitors. But relax! There’s no need to be self-deprecating as any good friend will understand that parenthood is by no means easy.

4. Keep in touch

This is one of the trickiest points. When you become a mom, your free time is cut in half, or even less. You want to keep in touch with your friends, but sometimes it isn’t possible. If you find yourself with your hands full and are unable to meet up for a coffee, try to get in touch via text or video call. Write a message once in a while just to remind your friends that you care and you miss them. Whenever possible, spare at least one hour to meet up in person.

5. But don’t always bring the kids with you!

“Can I bring my child?” some of us ask when invited to a social gathering. You may not feel comfortable leaving your kids or paying for a babysitter while you are socializing. And that’s totally OK. However, spending time in the company of your friends is vital as it strengthens your bond and also helps you decompress when parenting becomes too overwhelming (which totally happens!). If possible, ask your parents, partner, or any other relative to take care of your child for one or two hours so you can have an exclusive time in the company of your friends.

6. Expand your conversations

Your life has been taken over by baby food, toys, picture books, and parenting lessons. You now speak “mommy” language, which may be unintelligible to your friends. This doesn’t mean that you should censor yourself. If you would like to talk about your little one’s first word, a funny anecdote about making baby food, or an interesting blog about parenting, do so. But leave room for other topics unrelated to motherhood. Talk about the things you and your friends have in common, and ask about their experiences — how their job is going, their relationships, etc.

7. Invite them over for special occasions

Part of being a mom is planning baby showers, birthday parties, baptisms, and other important celebrations. The first instinct is to invite friends with kids, but you should include your friends without children too. Some of them will be truly glad to be included in your plans. Others may find these gatherings boring or may not like kids in general. In any case, inviting them will make them feel included. Let them know that they are not obliged to attend if they feel uncomfortable, but that you’d love to see them for a couple of minutes.

Beginning.com supports you at every stage of your life journey! Discover our immersive sound journeys and masterclasses to take proper care of your health and wellness during parenthood.

Sources

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/us-births-fall-record-35-year-low/

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