Common Myths about the Female Orgasm

For many people, orgasms are the main goal of sex. And, when it comes to the female orgasm, there are lots of myths, misconceptions, and a lack of factual information out there. We are told that climaxing is nearly impossible for women because we are not as sexual as men are. We read that there should be an “emotional connection” and that, when it happens, an orgasm is an earth-shattering and _intense event. _But how true is all of that? We list down the most common myths about female orgasms starting with a brief history of how they came to be.

From hysteria to Freud’s “miniature penis” and beyond

For years, people believed the female orgasm had one role: conception. The 17th century ruled out this theory as scientists found that women could get pregnant without climaxing or feeling sexual pressure. If not for the sake of reproduction, _what could be the role of the female orgasm then? Surely not pleasure! _Victorians linked it to hysteria, an “illness” (nowadays debunked) that only affected women. If you were hysteric, you were probably volatile and hypersexual. Doctors treated hysteria by inducing orgasms, or even worse, removing the clitoris.

Freud’s theories about sexuality brought a different kind of understanding. The father of psychoanalysis saw the clitoris as a “miniature penis”. Girls would use it as a form of compensation, waiting for the day to discover “their true sexuality through penetration”. Freud’s distinction between clitoral and vaginal orgasms suggested that the latter was far superior. Any woman who didn’t get off the “right way” was considered frigid or mentally ill.

Luckily, times have changed! Contemporary sexological research has called into question such unscientific views. Contrary to Freud’s theories, female sexuality is not a reflection of their male partners. Orgasms don’t come from the vagina either as it has few nerve endings. Experts agree that women orgasm due to the stimulation of the clitourethrovaginal complex. This is a structure of nerve endings that extends from the clitoris deep into the body. Yet, in spite of the many scientific and research developments, female orgasms remain shrouded in mystery in the 21st century.

7 Myths about the female orgasm

Let’s debunk seven of the most common falsehoods about women and folks with vaginas’ orgasms.

1. Orgasm is unattainable

Struggling to reach orgasm is common for many women. Recent studies suggest that only 14% of young women easily climax through sex. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Many people have not been taught about sexuality or have been shamed out of it. There’s also a fixation on achieving orgasm through penetrative sex, which can be difficult as vaginas have few nerve endings, remember? If you never had an orgasm, don’t worry! A good way to start is by familiarizing yourself with your erogenous zones:

• Breasts
• Clitoris
• G-spot
• ClitGVa (the clitoris, G-spot and the vagina)

2. Female orgasms are more satisfying than male’s

There’s a widespread belief that female orgasms are mind-blowing and explosive. They are _so _amazingly intense and unique that they are far superior to men’s orgasms. Yet, experts believe they are not entirely different. Studies reveal that men and women use similar words to describe the experience. Researchers even found it difficult to determine which gender wrote which descriptions.

3. Everyone can have double orgasms

It’s believed that women have the special ability to have multiple orgasms. That is having several orgasms close together or throughout the duration of a sexual encounter. However, not everyone can manage that! Usually, after climaxing, additional clitoral stimulation can be uncomfortable or even painful. Many women also notice that their clitoris goes numb for some time after having an orgasm. So this makes multiple orgasms very difficult to achieve.

4. Orgasms facilitate reproduction

According to the “upstuck theory”, when a woman orgasms, negative pressure is created in the uterus. This sucks sperm in, facilitating conception. Following this train of thought, female orgasms exist for the sake of reproduction. But there is no substantial proof supporting the theory as most of the existing studies are inconclusive and narrow in scale. So if you are looking forward to getting pregnant, don’t base your hopes on orgasming during sex.

5. Women need an emotional bond to orgasm

For centuries, women have been described as more “emotional” and romantic than men. Needless to say, this belief has been applied to orgasms. Supposedly, women orgasm easily if there’s a strong, emotional connection. This is clearly a myth since climaxing is possible with the right stimulation, pressure, and pace regardless of the connection with your partner.

6. There’s something wrong if you only get off with X method

Every single person is completely unique. What works for some, may simply not work for others. If you can’t climax during sex, but do while masturbating or using a vibrator, there’s nothing wrong with that and it doesn’t make it less valid. You do you.

7. Sex without orgasms is a failure

Having an orgasm during sex is great, but it doesn’t have to be the basis of it. The quality of a sexual encounter depends on other equally important factors like bonding with your partner, relaxing, feeling some sense of thrill, seeing a particular someone naked, or whatever meaning you give to it.

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