Everything You Need To Know About Safe WLW Sex
Sex education is bad, so so bad. We’re only really taught about heterosexual sex and, even then, it’s lacking. So, if you have sex with women or people with a vagina, your knowledge of safe sex is probably sparse. But wait, you can’t get pregnant, right? Why do you even need to have safe sex? Well, STDs and other infections can still spread even if your partner doesn’t have a penis. In this article, we’ll discuss the risks of lesbian sex. Plus all the ways to keep yourself safe and healthy. So, keep reading to discover everything you need to know about safe sex!
Lesbian sex and STIs
If you have sex with women or people with a vagina, of course, there’s zero risk of unwanted pregnancy. While that’s great and takes away a huge burden, you can still catch and spread sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).
According to the National Survey of Family Growth, STD rates among lesbians were 2.3% to 6.7% with the figure being much higher for bisexual women at 15% to 17.2%. While the risk is much lower than having sex with someone with a penis, it can still happen.
Using your fingers, mouth, or rubbing your vulvas together can spread STDs and STIs such as:
- chlamydia;
- gonorrhea;
- trichomoniasis;
- human papillomavirus (HPV);
- genital warts (a type of HPV);
- genital herpes;
- and HIV/AIDS.
You can get rid of chlamydia, gonorrhea, and trichomoniasis with a course of antibiotics. However, the rest of these stick around for life. That’s why it’s crucial to always practice safe female-to-female sex!
What are the signs of an STD?
Signs that something’s not and requires a visit to your doc include:
- a foul-smelling odor;
- unusual discharge;
- itching, burning, or discomfort in or around your vagina;
- a burning sensation when you pee;
- pain or discomfort during or after sex;
- bleeding after sex;
- new bumps or lumps on your vulva;
- and pain in your lower abdomen or pelvic region.
Remember, most of the time, STDs cause no symptoms. So, if you’ve had unprotected sex recently, it’s probably best to get checked.
A quick note about HPV
Human Papillomavirus (HPV) is a sexually transmitted infection spread by skin-to-skin contact. It’s the most common STI, with around 80% of sexually active people infected with it at some point in their lives. However, most people never realize they’re infected.
There are over one hundred strains of HPV, and some of these lead to genital warts and cervical cancer. This sounds much scarier than it is, as most people’s immune systems deal with the virus, and they never have any problems. There is still, however, a risk.
Unfortunately, it’s almost impossible to protect yourself from HPV, as it spreads so easily. All you can do really is limit your number of sexual partners and/or go for your routine pap smears. Don’t let HPV put you off having sex, but it is something to be mindful of.
And how about other infections?
If you have a vagina, at some point in your life you’ve probably had a yeast infection (A.K.A thrush) or bacterial vaginosis (BV). If not, don’t worry, your time will come, unfortunately.
A yeast infection is a fungal infection due to an overgrowth of, you’ve guessed it, yeast. Yes, you have yeast in your vagina, it’s normal! Meanwhile, BV is due to the buildup of Gardnerella vaginitis, the main bacteria that live inside your vagina.
Now, while these aren’t STDs, they can spread between you and your partner if you both have vaginas. Studies show that BV is common among women who have sex with other women. Plus, having more sexual partners also raises the likeliness of developing it.
Again this is why it’s super important to practice safe sex. Otherwise, you and your partner might continually pass BV or thrush between yourselves, and no one wants that!
How to practice safe sex
So, how exactly do you have safe sex with other women or people with vaginas? Let’s take a closer look now!
1. Safe finger play
Fingerplay with your partner is fun! However, there’s a risk of disturbing the pH balance of your vaginas and developing a yeast infection or bacterial vaginosis. Hygiene is key here. You’ll want to wash your hands thoroughly before getting down to business! Don’t forget to scrub your nails as well — no one wants dirt or food residue inside their vagina. Speaking of, keep your nails nice and short to avoid injury.
There is also a chance of catching an STD from fingering. Say you touch your partner’s genitals and then your own, or vice versa. The best measure is to both get tested before you start having sex. You can also get finger condoms or special gloves, but let’s face it, these just aren’t realistic. However, they’re handy for one-night stands or casual sex.
2. Safe oral sex
Oral is super sexy, plus a great way to connect with your partner. But again, there’s a risk of spreading or catching an STD. During sex, there’s a lot of kissing, touching, and exchanging of bodily fluids. If you or your partner has a mouth, throat, or genital STD, it can very easily spread all over the place. The best way to protect yourself is by using a dental dam.
Excuse me, what? That’s right, you’ve probably never heard of a dental dam before. Most people haven’t. A dental dam is a piece of thin, flexible latex that you place over your designated hot spot. This can be your partner’s clitoris, vulva, or anus. You can stimulate them just the same but without having skin-to-skin contact. Amazing!
Some important points to remember when using a dental dam include:
- if it rips, stop what you’re doing and use a fresh one;
- don’t reuse them;
- you or your partner should hold it in place, so it doesn’t slip;
- use a little lube on your partner’s skin to stop the dam from sliding;
- and finally, dental dams are less likely to protect against genital herpes, HPV, or genital warts.
So, where can you find this magical latex cloth? Well, unfortunately, dental dams are a lot harder to come by than condoms, and they’re pricer. Instead, check online or in a sex shop. You can even find a variety of flavors — mint tingle anyone?
3. Safe scissoring
Scissoring is when you and your partner rub your vulvas against each. Some people are super into this move, others aren’t. Either way is fine! However, this is probably the riskiest of lesbian sex, as it involves direct genital contact and the exchange of bodily fluids. Here, it’s best to dab a bit of lube on both sides of a dental dam and position it in between your and your partner’s vulvas. To make sure it doesn’t move, as you grind away, one of you should hold it in place.
4. Safe sex toys
Sex toys undeniably bring a lot of fun into the bedroom. But there are some things to bear before you use them. You should never share sex toys with your partner. You can mess up your pH balances plus spread STDs. Also, remember to thoroughly wash and dry your sex toys after each use. Hey, you can even find special sex toy cleaners online or in a sex shop!
5. Safe strap-on sex
If you or your partner enjoy penetrative sex then a strap-on is a great investment. But again, some risks apply. Some tips for safe strap-on sex include:
- buying a dildo made of a non-porous material and a washable harness;
- thoroughly washing it in between use;
- having individual strap-ons, you should never share;
- using a condom each time if you’re sharing the strap-on with multiple partners;
- you can use a strap-on for anal sex as well! However, never go between vaginal penetration and anal penetration without washing the toy or changing condoms first;
- and remember, when you’re using a strap-on, use plenty of lube and start slow. Communication is key as only one of you can feel what’s going on and you don’t want to cause injury.
6. Get tested, get tested, get tested
If you’re in a committed relationship, situationship, or anything else that’s exclusive, guess what? You don’t need to worry so much about protective barriers. Before you and your partner start having sex, get tested. Get the full screening to rule out everything and anything. Then you can have all the sex in the world without worrying about STDs or pregnancy, what a dream!
Remember: get checked every six months if you’re sexually active and single.
7. Protect yourself…even if it seems weird
Let’s face it, finger condoms and dental dams don’t exactly scream sex appeal. Plus, they aren’t that commonly acknowledged or used. But if you’re having casual sex, get into the habit of using them. Yes, they are weird, and yes, you may feel a bit silly the first few times. But in the long run, they’re worth it. Practicing safe sex is an act of self-care and self-love!
Don’t forget to have fun!
Sex is supposed to be enjoyable, right? So, don’t forget to have plenty of fun! Plus, sex is even more fun when you take all the right measures and don’t get any nasty surprises. For more advice on sex, check out our Passion sound journeys. Or, for everything LGBTQ+ related, check out our library of blogs. Only at Beginning.com.