Pregnancy and friendships: Why your social circle may shift
Have you noticed your friendships changing since those two lines appeared on your pregnancy test? One minute you’re sharing every detail of your life with your best friend, and the next, you’re wondering why they seem suddenly distant—or why you’re the one pulling back.
The natural evolution of friendships during pregnancy
Pregnancy isn’t just a physical transformation—it’s a complete life overhaul that inevitably affects your social connections. Research has shown that during pregnancy, women’s communication patterns shift significantly, with social media posts showing a 22% increase in family themes and a 30% decrease in social life content. These changes reflect the natural pivot in priorities that happens as you prepare for motherhood.
When you announce your pregnancy, you might notice some friends stepping back. This distancing isn’t always personal—it often reflects where they are in their own life journey. Friends without children or plans for them may struggle to relate to your new reality. For others experiencing fertility struggles, your joy might be a painful reminder of their own challenges. Some simply don’t know how to support you during this transition and awkwardly retreat instead of asking.
Alternatively, you might find yourself pulling away from certain friendships. Growing a human is exhausting, and socializing requires energy you might not have anymore. Your priorities naturally shift as late-night gatherings lose their appeal while baby preparation takes center stage. You might also discover new interests—suddenly you’re fascinated by birth stories and baby gear while your friends’ eyes glaze over in conversation.
Finding your pregnancy support system
Social support during pregnancy isn’t just nice to have—it’s essential for your wellbeing. Research indicates that perceived social support plays a crucial role in managing third-trimester anxiety. But what makes a good pregnancy support system?
According to social network research, pregnant women benefit from four distinct types of social support:
- Emotional support: Friends who validate your feelings and provide comfort
- Informational support: People who share knowledge and resources about pregnancy and parenting
- Appraisal support: Those who offer perspective and help you process your experiences
- Instrumental support: Friends who provide practical help like meals or rides to appointments
Not every friend can provide all types of support—and that’s okay. Understanding these different support categories can help you manage expectations and appreciate what each person brings to your life during this transition.
Nurturing supportive friendships during pregnancy
While some friendship changes are inevitable, you can take steps to preserve valuable relationships during this transition.
Clear communication goes a long way in preserving friendships. Share how your energy levels and availability have changed since becoming pregnant. Suggest pregnancy-friendly activities that work for your current lifestyle, like morning coffee dates instead of late dinners or walks in place of more strenuous activities. Being upfront about topics that might now be sensitive or triggering can also prevent awkward situations.
Traditional friendship activities might need adjusting as your body and priorities change. Replace bar hopping with prenatal yoga sessions or use technology for quick check-ins when in-person visits aren’t possible. These adaptations show you value the friendship enough to find new ways to connect.
Pregnancy often necessitates new boundaries, both physical and emotional. It’s perfectly okay to decline invitations when you’re exhausted or redirect uncomfortable conversations and unsolicited advice. Protecting your mental health might mean limiting exposure to certain social media content, especially since research shows that social media engagement during pregnancy can negatively impact body image and increase feelings of competitiveness about pregnancy physique.
Expanding your circle: Finding pregnancy peers
While maintaining existing friendships is important, pregnancy is also an ideal time to expand your social network with people who understand your current experience.
Consider exploring prenatal classes, which provide natural opportunities to meet other expectant parents beyond just education. Online communities through pregnancy apps and social media groups can connect you with others due around the same time. Both in-person and virtual pregnancy support groups offer validation and shared experience during this unique life stage.
These new connections often become invaluable as you navigate the early postpartum period. For more on building support systems for those critical first weeks after birth, check out our guide on early postpartum emotional needs.
Interestingly, research on social networks reveals that “weak ties” (acquaintances and distant connections) can provide unique benefits during pregnancy, offering informational support and access to resources not available in your immediate circle. Don’t underestimate the value of these more casual connections as you build your pregnancy support network.
Embracing the new normal
The research is clear: women who maintain group membership and social identity after becoming mothers report significantly better mental health outcomes. While your social circle may shift during pregnancy, this evolution doesn’t mean losing your identity or abandoning meaningful connections.
The friendships that truly matter will evolve alongside you, even if the relationship looks different than before. Meanwhile, new connections formed during this transition may become some of the most important relationships in your life as you navigate motherhood together.
Remember that friendship changes during pregnancy aren’t a reflection of your worth or likability—they’re a natural part of one of life’s biggest transitions. Be patient with yourself and others as you all adjust to this new chapter in your story.
What friendship changes have you experienced during your pregnancy journey? Consider exploring Beginning’s supportive community for more connection during this transformative time.